#MicroblogMondays: Don’t Tell Me it’s Going to be Okay, Tell me it Sucks

My daughter had a physical therapy evaluation today and we received worrisome news. Nothing traumatic, her life isn’t in danger, nothing like that, but still, news that means more evaluations and therapy and hurdles for her to have to deal with. This sucks.

I know as I tell my loved ones the news, I’ll be met with their undoubtedly best intentions, and they’ll respond with “she’s tough, it will all be okay” and “it’s good you have some more answers now” or “well, now you know what direction to head in” etc. Fine. I appreciate their encouragement. I know it will all be okay. This kid is tough, she’s been poked and prodded, had tubes and lines in her, has overcome so much. I want her to have it easy. The fact that over 10 years into her life, she still is in pain and still in therapies and still sees too many specialists and still doesn’t have things easy, sucks.


My Supergirl

I know we’ll see the right specialists and tackle this like her and I have attacked so many other struggles before. Tonight though, I just want someone to tell me they get it. Acknowledge my frustration and hurt and fears for my little one. I don’t need to hear it will all be okay, tell me it sucks, because it does.

As always, major thanks to The Stirrup Queens for #MicroblogMondays. Join us!


#IAmNOTKelliStapleton: Shame on Anyone Defending Her Actions

Every child should be granted the opportunity to blossom.

Every child should be given the opportunity to blossom.

My daughter just had a 40-minute tantrum. She is 10 years old. We have dubbed her tantrums, “overloads” (thanks to a Twitter friend’s recommendation). She didn’t want us to call the outbursts tantrums, as “that is what babies have.” Today’s overload was because she did not want to do her homework.

Her overloads can be intense and she has great difficulty with them. She screams, cries, kicks, hits, throws things. Some days, she and I can use techniques we’ve learned and help ease the situation. Other times, like today, there is no soothing until she wears herself out. Today, that meant choking and gagging from screaming and crying and hyperventilating, and being absolutely exhausted when she was able to calm down again.

During these overloads, it is common that I feel overwhelmed. They are emotional. They are loud. They make her older sister anxious. I would love to be on a beach relaxing in the sun or doing countless other things at those moments. I can only imagine what my daughter would rather be doing than experiencing an overload herself. (more…)

I Support Shanesha Taylor

Update 4/12/14: Please join the virtual petition asking Bill Montgomery to drop charges against Shanesha Taylor. URGENT, please sign before Tuesday!!!!

Desperation. That is where Shanesha Taylor undoubtedly found herself last week when she left her children alone in a car so she could attend a job interview. I’ve seen support for Shanesha in the days since her arrest, and that compassion has warmed my heart. I’ve also seen a lot of finger-wagging, many a “how could she,” and doubt that she had no other options. These responses have saddened me. It’s easy to look at someone else’s situation and play Monday morning quarterback. You can revise someone’s life and say you’d have done this job training or received this college degree or not had kids or given them up or made sure their father stuck around or found family or friends to help out or do any number of things you’re positive would exempt you from ever having to make the decision to leave your young kids in a car with the windows cracked.

Perhaps some of those who have the answers, who know exactly what steps Shanesha Taylor and others like her could have taken to be in a different place, maybe they do know better. It’s possible those people did make all the right moves and will never find themselves homeless. I applaud them. I also think, with the exception of those with trust funds, it’s careless to say it could never happen to you. Life can shake anyone down, and without a safety net, any of us could be Shanesha Taylor. Until you have been there, deciding between leaving your children in a parked car for an hour or not taking the interview that could help move them out of that car and into a home, take a seat. (more…)

Slut-Shaming: Wendy Williams, LiLo and Beyoncé

8677427 Last week, I happened to catch a segment of New York Live and Wendy Williams was their guest. Their discussion piqued my interest so I left it on. Wendy and the show’s hosts were talking about Beyoncé being called out for her new album and live performances of its songs. I was in full agreement with what the hosts and Wendy Williams had to say, they supported her freedom of expression. It’s been gross to see people come for Beyoncé.

For starters, Beyoncé is a grown woman. She can wear what she wants, sing songs about whatever she wants, and never deserves to be dragged for it. Don’t like the lyrics? Turn the song off. Her performance makes you uncomfortable? Change the channel. Simple. (more…)

City Mouse or Country Mouse?

A book with a similar title was one of my favorites growing up. I’ve always swayed back and forth between the love of country and of city. I find beauty in the mountains and rolling hills, in sunsets on water, and on days at the beach. Nothing will ever compare to the sights and sounds and vibe of the city though. I lived in Texas for almost ten years. I longed for New York, its abundance of culture is what I missed so much. I’ve been thrilled being back in the tri-state area these past four years. I spend as much time as I can in New York and in Philadelphia; my kids love both as much as I now. I cannot imagine living a great distance from either ever again. (more…)

Some days peanuts, some days shells…

Lately, I’ve been struggling. Emotionally, I’m trying to stay afloat. I have what feels like the weight of the universe on my shoulders. I’d dare to say that only those that are raising their kids alone will truly understand. For those who don’t know, imagine feeling like you’re constantly having to be everywhere doing everything all at once. From paying the bills to making lunches to fixing “boo-boos” to carpools to, well, everything else. Right now, I’m unemployed. I’ve been looking for a job since December; sending out my resume is just depressing at this point. I need to find a job that, hopefully, will have benefits for me. The kids have insurance; I still lack healthcare however. I need a job where I make more than minimum wage, and that doesn’t require me to work nights or weekends; affordable childcare outside of the normal 9-5 workweek does not exist. (more…)