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#MicroblogMondays: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Waiting by Edgar Degas

Waiting by Edgar Degas

Tom Petty was right, waiting sucks. I’m waiting on what feels like a million things right now.

Waiting for more time.

Waiting for some quiet, some peace.

Waiting for healing.

Waiting for answers.

Most pressing on my mind right now is my waiting to hear back from the doctor. My youngest has an apparent compression fracture and needs an MRI to confirm and proceed with treatment. She is in pain and we’ve just been getting through the days of discomfort as best we can. Pain plus boredom can quickly breed sadness and anger. I’ve been trying to keep her spirits up with plenty of hugs and whatever I can come up with to get her mind elsewhere. (Special thanks to video and board game creators, movie makers, authors, singers and songwriters. Also, coloring books, television, Mother Nature, and candy!)

At night, I dream of vacations and extended moments to myself. I imagine writing, reading, sleeping in, exploring… Oh, to be alone with my thoughts! And without the creeping worries that have followed me around as of late? What would that even be like? I have no clue. It’s nice to consider, for a moment, until reality slaps me right back into place. Did I mention my $900 in car repairs I found out about last week? I nearly made a joke about the camel and its broken back, but it was too close to home. Sigh.

The past few months have been so rough, I can’t help but wonder when the clouds will lift. I want magical band-aids to make all the woes and pains of my children to go away. I’m an optimist struggling to keep things afloat. I hope that along with spring slowly making its way to us, so will easier, quieter, calmer, happier times for us. Until then…

Special thanks, as always, to Stirrup Queens. I was sifting through medical bills and waiting for a doctor’s call, when I remembered it was Monday, and that means time to microblog! I feel better having put these words (more than 8 sentences…) down.

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Please Help Me Get To BinderCon!

Help Me Get To BinderCon!Hello.

I’m in need of some help. I received a scholarship to BinderCon. I still am in giddy disbelief to have been awarded one, and I’m anxious to see all the conference has to offer. There is one bump in the road, and that is money. Unfortunately, I’ve had some extra expenses and issues going on that have dried up my bank account. I need to raise enough money to cover travel, food, & other expenses for the weekend. It is fast approaching, I need to be in NYC in a little over a week.

I have a fundraiser page which details more about the conference, why it is so important to me, and the breakdown of the funds I need. If you are able to give any amount, I’d greatly appreciate it. I will return my gratitude and will not ever forget your kindness.

I have rewards for certain donation amounts and I will be blogging and tweeting about my experiences at the conference. I’d love to make this an interactive fundraising. None of this is possible without you, I’d like you to feel a connection & know your money is being put to good use. If you are leery of a fundraising site, I get it. I gladly accept donations on PayPal (link is to the side or via butterflyxart (at) gmail). If you are interested in the social media mention(s), bookmark, artist tile, or virtual assistance work, you will still be eligible for those awards if you donate through PayPal. Just make a note at checkout or send me an email.

Please reach out if you have any questions: comment here, use the contact page, or find me on Twitter. Thank you for your support. I’m off to work on my speed pitches!

Have a great day.

 

Hello, Again

I took off the summer from writing. This wasn’t planned. Life circumstances made it impossible for me to take to my keyboard and honestly type my thoughts. Partially, because I was dealing with a lot of personal and family issues, things that either are not my story to tell or were too fresh for me to even consider discussing publicly. Around this time, I had nearly my entire family in town. This was a good distraction at moments, a stressor at others. I was happy to have my niece and nephew stay with us in July. I tried my best to entertain and keep up with four kids from age 10 to 13.

I promised myself I would get back to writing in August. I’ve started drafting some things, and let me tell you, pouring my thoughts and feelings out has felt great. So, I’m picking up where I left off: writing about whatever the heck I want. Sometimes silly and random, often times political and personal.

I have attempted to put something together regarding Ferguson. Despite thousands of thoughts swarming in my mind, the words don’t come. Well, they come, just not always coherently. My Twitter feed is indicative of this. I have more retweets this past week than perhaps ever before. I will try harder. I will use my voice to talk about Mike Brown. I realize it’s not too late to speak up for Eric Garner. Or Ramarley Graham. Or Sean Bell. Or Oscar Grant. Or sadly, the names that will be added to this crisis. So I will keep doing my thing.

I saw a few months ago, how my words could be amplified and how they could make an impact. It happened with my piece on the Judge Rotenberg Center, expressing my support for Shanesha Taylor, issues surrounding Autism Speaks and Jenny McCarthy, and even comic books! I saw how people from all over were engaging, sharing, and discussing my pieces and the topics I was talking about. I need to not lose sight of that. Thank you for reading my words, opening up discussions, and supporting me. I always say, if one person is effected by what I write, it is all worth it. So here I go…

sunrise

Things I Miss This Week: writing, video games, tv, gazing into the abyss, my bed…

From May 12, 2014

From May 12, 2014

So, as I’ve promised myself to write here at least once a week, I’m doing a quick check-in. Oh and yeah, I have some BlogHer news, if the picture didn’t give it away. I’ll get to that in a minute. I’ve been spending nearly every waking hour doing some training for an at-home job that would have regular weekly hours and would sure be a help getting my finances in order. Being an unemployed single mom does not have its privileges. Things have been pretty rough lately, so I’m keeping my fingers (and toes!) crossed this gig works out. I’ll find out next week. I’ll take all prayers, luck, vibes, meditations, what have you…

I have a lot of stuff that’s waiting to be written, either lurking in my head or half-drafted. This week is just not one to put much time or energy into writing. I will hopefully return to my regularly scheduled soapboxing next week. In the meantime, if you are new here, hello and thank you for checking my blog out. You can find me on Twitter and (new!) “LIKE” me on Facebook. There’s a bunch of other places you can find me listed over on the side bar as well. Oh and look, you can also help me pay my bills and save enough funds to buy a desperately needed laptop. Sorry, had to mention it!

I was delighted to receive an email last week from Deb Rox, Entertainment Editor at BlogHer, telling me they would be featuring my piece about diversity in comics. If you haven’t read it yet, please head over to BlogHer and check it out. Just as exciting, was seeing my quote and name in BlogHer’s newsletter on Monday. That news surely helped to lift my spirits. And not to be all cheesy by making a pun, but, Deb Rox really rocks. I’ll show myself out now…

More pieces coming next week, including pictures of the zoo cake I made. Until then, be well. Thank you again for coming by!

Some of my favorite pieces I’ve written lately:

Challenging Stigmas & an Imperfect System: My Struggle With Depression

I Am Sounding the Alarm (on Autism Propaganda, Everyday)

The FDA Hearing and the Judge Rotenberg Center: What You Should Know

An Open Letter to Jenny McCarthy

On Drunk Drivers

I Refuse to Shame Drunk Drivers

I wrote a response (link above) to those who are taking to Twitter to trash the driver in the horrible SXSW crash.

But you don’t get to shame this individual because you don’t know their lived experience. Are they self-medicating their mental health issues? Are they a binge drinker or an alcoholic? Are they grieving from a tragedy and using alcohol to numb themselves? Have they struggled to get sober? You don’t know any of these things. Save your judgement. Use the emotion you feel to help others. Donate blood. Speak to family members and friends about getting sober. Talk to your kids about the ramifications of drinking. Take action. Sitting around disparaging another human being, who made a mistake -even one that cost lives- doesn’t do a damn thing.

My heart goes out to those who were killed and injured in the crash. I cannot imagine what their family and friends are going through. My thoughts are also with the driver, who now has to face criminal charges and his own conscience. They may have a struggle toward sobriety ahead. I wish them all the luck. It is not easy.

If you find yourself reflecting on your drinking and want to get sober, please seek help. You cannot do it alone. Here are two links to start with:

NCADD

Alcoholics Anonymous

Hello, Fall

Fall Tree

Fall is my favorite season. I don’t think anything gets much better than New York City in Autumn. Of course, rides in the country at this time of year are incredible too! Second to Fall would be Spring. I enjoy Winter and Summer, don’t get me wrong. I love playing in the snow, I’m still not too old (And hope I never will be!) to sled, build snow-Daleks (Yes, really.), or join in a snowball fight. In the Summer, I love the beach. Few things soothe me so much as the warm sun on my skin and the sound of waves hitting the shore. I love to collect shells and could float all day in the ocean. But it is Spring and Fall, with their comfortable temperatures and most beautiful of colors that I love best. Spring is when flowers blossom, and it seems like all is new once again. By the time the first blooms appear, I often think I can’t handle anymore Winter. The leaf-less trees, the grey skies, the bone-chilling cold… Then I’ll see a stalk of green sprouting up, maybe even a bud appear. It’s like nature has exhaled. I know warmer temperatures, brighter days, and new life are on their way. So I stick out the rest of Winter, and sometimes even miss my hat and scarf by the time Spring is in full-effect.  (more…)

An Update…

I’m back with a couple of posts this week. They will most likely be political in nature, since I’ve been fired up by a lot of what’s going on lately (okay, like always!). I will also discuss what I did over the summer, and may continue to do, with the NWLC to persuade those against the Affordable Healthcare Act to reconsider. I’ve been absent from here, despite having much to write about, because I have been busy with all sorts of things. Summer is often good about that! This one found me on a long road trip with TK and his parents. I’ve detailed some of this trip here. I will be writing additional pieces there, about our trip and thoughts on the various stops; I will share them here as well. I have been doing some research to better supplement those pieces and will be publishing them within the next couple of months. The rest of the summer, I was staying busy with the kids. The break flew by, really. And so here I am once again…

I’m back…

 

 

photo

Did you moose me?

 

 

Okay, I will put myself in time-out for that. I have some drafts in progress, one that will post today, and another tomorrow. I feel re-energized with renewed focus for my writing, and my creating in general. Things are still up in the air and hectic as ever in my life, but I feel like I just need to write and make art and express myself to get through it. I should be back to a 1-3 posts per week routine now. I have an exciting trip coming up so I will be absent for about 2 weeks, but I will have tons to write on (and pictures to share) once I return. I’ve also decided I need to not censor myself any longer. If it’s important to me, and especially if I feel it may help someone else, I’m going to talk about it. (See last post, yes, I’m still tackling that at times…)

 

 

The Opposite of Writer’s Block

Contribute - PMG

Contribute – PMG

Do you ever have so much to write about that you can’t write? I have so many things swimming in my head, from this past (and crazy!) week, from my own life, and on a million topics. I haven’t been contributing here much lately, and I hope that’s going to change soon. The last five days have been heavy enough, I’m shying away from tackling any of it for now. At least for the weekend. It’s nice to just take a breath and try to digest everything. I have a couple drafts, nearly finished, that I just can’t seem to hit “Publish” on. Either I feel they’re missing something, or I’m hesitant to share what I have with the world. I never want to hurt anyone. But, given my past, I start to run into times where the stories I want to tell, or even the things I want to write about and contemplate, may involve others. They may not always be received with open arms. So I try to come to terms with being honest, with letting these things out, and not causing waves in my life.

I keep going back to this post again and again. I’m just not sure how to let it  really sink in, and to believe it.

Unnecessary Noise

photo-10

I have a few drafts waiting in the wings, but am busy doing other life stuff at the moment. I’ll get to them soon. One of those posts is from the day this picture was taken. My oldest daughter pointed out this sign, and we both wanted a picture of it. From it being placed in the middle of a noisy city (New York!), which is quite comical, to it having more meaning in life itself, it was a great photo opp. I’ve been having to remind myself of this lately, to tune out those who are not supportive, are negative, and ultimately don’t matter. Unnecessary noise is certainly prohibited as I go forward into the next chapter of my life.