personal

Back from the depths…

meOWLHello there. Yes, it’s really me. I hope I’m back more regularly, we’ll see if the universe behaves. The past few months have been hectic, emotional, and tiring. I’ve learned just how strong I am, and how resilient those closest to me are. Through health crises, long nights in the ER, and downs outnumbering the ups, we are all still here.

I haven’t written for two reasons. The first is the time and energy required to make it through the past few months left me with little left to sit down and compose my thoughts. The second, and truly the biggest reason I haven’t been writing, is because I write my life and I just couldn’t share this part of my life on here. In time, I may find a way to share it. Partly, it’s not my story to tell, though I can share it from my perspective. I feel it is important to write it, not only as a form of catharsis, but also to help others. So, in time, you may learn more about my absence. It is a delicate balance to keep when sharing someone else’s health and life.

While I sort out how to express myself, while keeping those elements close(r) to my chest, I will be writing again. I hope to get some more material on BlogHer, I have my first post up at Nerdy But Flirty today, and I’ll be sharing a new chapter here as well. We are having a go at homeschooling. I’ll explain more in my first post–I plan to write at least once a week about our trials and errors, and our adventures too! It’s possible I’ll start a new Tumblr or use another blog for that, but for now, those posts will be here. As we sort out curriculum and hammer out details, I’m going to trial Time4Learning. Here is the disclaimer:

I’ve been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as a homeschool curriculum, for afterschool enrichment and for summer skill sharpening. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.

Stay tuned!

Also, thanks to everyone for sticking around, and for those who encouraged me during my absence. It meant so much to know my writing, my voice, was missed. xx

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#MicroblogMondays: The Name Game

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Mel at Stirrup Queens (who is also responsible for #MicroblogMondays!) wrote today about the controversy surrounding our last names, if we do or don’t change them when we get married.

It took me nearly a year after I got married to change my last name. It just felt strange, so I kept putting it off. At the time, and I was young, no one mentioned I didn’t have to change my last name (people neglected to tell me all sorts of things about life back then). Eventually I found my way to the Social Security office and reluctantly erased my maiden name.

When I divorced, I decided to keep my last name to make it simpler for my kids. Now I feel like my last name doesn’t belong to me. It’s odd signing your name and feeling like you’re forging someone else’s signature. It’s also weird that my ex-husband’s new wife has the same exact name as me…

I’d like to start over and give myself a whole new name. One that feels like me. One that belongs to me.

Any and all suggestions welcome.

Hello, Again

I took off the summer from writing. This wasn’t planned. Life circumstances made it impossible for me to take to my keyboard and honestly type my thoughts. Partially, because I was dealing with a lot of personal and family issues, things that either are not my story to tell or were too fresh for me to even consider discussing publicly. Around this time, I had nearly my entire family in town. This was a good distraction at moments, a stressor at others. I was happy to have my niece and nephew stay with us in July. I tried my best to entertain and keep up with four kids from age 10 to 13.

I promised myself I would get back to writing in August. I’ve started drafting some things, and let me tell you, pouring my thoughts and feelings out has felt great. So, I’m picking up where I left off: writing about whatever the heck I want. Sometimes silly and random, often times political and personal.

I have attempted to put something together regarding Ferguson. Despite thousands of thoughts swarming in my mind, the words don’t come. Well, they come, just not always coherently. My Twitter feed is indicative of this. I have more retweets this past week than perhaps ever before. I will try harder. I will use my voice to talk about Mike Brown. I realize it’s not too late to speak up for Eric Garner. Or Ramarley Graham. Or Sean Bell. Or Oscar Grant. Or sadly, the names that will be added to this crisis. So I will keep doing my thing.

I saw a few months ago, how my words could be amplified and how they could make an impact. It happened with my piece on the Judge Rotenberg Center, expressing my support for Shanesha Taylor, issues surrounding Autism Speaks and Jenny McCarthy, and even comic books! I saw how people from all over were engaging, sharing, and discussing my pieces and the topics I was talking about. I need to not lose sight of that. Thank you for reading my words, opening up discussions, and supporting me. I always say, if one person is effected by what I write, it is all worth it. So here I go…

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Giving Myself Credit (And Side-Eye to Jenny McCarthy)

Excuse me while I toot my own horn, and that of all the other writers who quietly sit and write, sometimes to no one. We keep at it, impassioned by our pens and keyboards, most of us write for no other reason than we couldn’t imagine not doing it. Some of us get honorable mentions, full-time gigs with publications, a few even get a book deal. Whether we receive any nods, we all have important things to say. This is my reminder, to myself and to you. Stay writing. Your voice matters.

I started a little blog called Stop. Think. Autism. shortly after my daughter was diagnosed with autism. (more…)

This is my blog, after all…

Something I again am having to remind myself of. There are some “heavier” and far more personal stories I want to tell. I am driven to tell, in fact. I go back and forth in my mind over whether this is where to do it, when, and if it’s okay. Then I remind myself, this is my space to write and do whatever I want. Or not want. Either way, it’s mine.

So while a lot of my posts will continue to be lighter, perhaps at times humorous or entertaining even (I hope!), others will be darker and deeper. I guess my Twitter account reflects this tone best. For the most part, I tweet jokes or light-hearted things. But there are moments where I tweet things I’m concerned and passionate about. Again, at the end of that day, it’s all me. I’m not one-dimensional. Life is not always easy and light. It’s life, the good, the bad, all of it is what makes me, me. In chunks, it can be ugly and terrifying. But overall, it is beautiful, the bad times have made me who I am today. I have stories to tell, and I’m ready to begin.

This is something I keep going back to (as is this):

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”
-Anne Lamott